FW: WASH THEM FIRST

This is Serious! This incident happened recently in North Texas . A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit. She died on Wednesday. The autopsy concluded she died of Leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from, not using a glass. Tests showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to thoroughly wash the upper part of allsoda cans before drinking out of them. The cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned. A study at NYCU showed that the tops of all soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets (i.e.).. full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident. Please forward this message to all the people you care about. I JUST DID!

 

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FW: The bottle of wine

THE BOTTLE OF WINE                       

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is  something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:                        

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.  

    

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a lift  with a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.                            

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.                             

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.              

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'          

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, 

she said:                           

'Good trade.....'                       

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FW: FDW Rabbit

 

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham  and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.   The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down        The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year   In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman, The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..'   The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.'   The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.'   The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.'   'Ok', says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.'   The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves.... ...NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!     One year later, in the now impoverished public house , the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you?', To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.' The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it. The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?' 'I DIED' ,said the rabbit. 'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?' After a short pause. The rabbit said...

'Mixin-me-toasties.'
 

 

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