My new @myspace.com email address

Hey, I have a new email address: pavisgentern@myspace.com Drop me a line! -Kayleigh-Ann

FW: WASH THEM FIRST

This is Serious! This incident happened recently in North Texas . A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit. She died on Wednesday. The autopsy concluded she died of Leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from, not using a glass. Tests showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to thoroughly wash the upper part of allsoda cans before drinking out of them. The cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned. A study at NYCU showed that the tops of all soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets (i.e.).. full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident. Please forward this message to all the people you care about. I JUST DID!

 

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FW: The bottle of wine

THE BOTTLE OF WINE                       

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is  something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:                        

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.  

    

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a lift  with a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.                            

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.                             

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.              

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'          

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, 

she said:                           

'Good trade.....'                       

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FW: FDW Rabbit

 

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham  and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.   The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down        The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year   In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman, The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..'   The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.'   The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.'   The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.'   'Ok', says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.'   The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves.... ...NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!     One year later, in the now impoverished public house , the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you?', To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.' The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it. The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?' 'I DIED' ,said the rabbit. 'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?' After a short pause. The rabbit said...

'Mixin-me-toasties.'
 

 

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an update

 

 

RIP Michael Jackon, 1959 - 2009.

As i understand it the superstar singer and performer was on a cocktail of painkillers after various accidents left him in agony- one being where his hair was set on fire, and it was a dose of one of these pain killers that caused the star to have a heart attack.

 

His autopsy has said that he was 8st 1oz and had NO FOOD in his stomach just pills.

we all know this one, he was bald and as much as he denied ever having plastic surgery his face was a mass of surgery scars.  the bridge of his nose had collapsed and the right side had caved in.  he also had FOUR adrenalin injections into his heart.  apparently he had injection marks over much of his body and unexplained bruises.

 

 

This week is set to have the hottest weather since 2006's heatwave, hospitals have been put on high alert for admissions of heat stroke and dizzyness.

2000 people died in 2003's hottest temperature of 38.5*C, this thursday is said to hit atleast 33*C with the weekend looking conicerably hotter.

it's amazing to see people complaining over the heat, and to be fair i do too - there's hot and then there's sweltering; although six months ago we were all complaining about the snow.

nobody can win!

 

 

CHECK YOUR 20P PIECES!!!

if you have  NEW 20p piece without a date on it - its worth £50!!!!

 

A4E GETS NEW COMPUTER!

Zydrate comes in a little glass vial

and the little glass vial goes into the gun like a battery

and the Zydrate gun goes somewhere against your anatomy

and when the gun goes off

it sparks and you're ready for surgery!

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BLANKETY BLANK!

 

i shall open this blog by saying that it's nice to see the MP's are showing their more spineless side by NOT publishing everything about their expenses!

doesn't it defeat the whole object to release something with big black blocks over the text???

get a spine and let us know what you're actually spending your money on - would be nice to see how the other half lives!

 

School girl sophie frost survived a lightening strike because of her ipod!

good for her!

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN UNDER A DAMNED TREE IN A LIGHTENING STORM YOU DUMB COW!

do they not teach kids anything at school these days? or maybe she wasn't listening?

 

Britney is in manchester but its nice to see she still thinks she's in london!

maybe it's because she did so many dates there....or maybe she is still ever so sliightly dippy?

 

its great to see Katie Price (AKA Jordan) taking the split from Peter Andre so damned well (sarcasm anyone?)

While Peter is enjoying quality time with their children in Cyprus, Jordan is off galavanting in Ibiza getting her

glamour image back, writhing around on a beach in front of so many cameras that it is obviously a publicity stunt!

lets face it...Jordan is playing the victim and she is anything but.  i am team Andre!!!

 

am i the only one who thinks Jordans breasts are disgusting?  she should never have had surgery EVER!

she looked great at 19 and just starting out and her body would changed over time and who knows, her breasts may have even grown naturally!